Validating your partners feelings, inspired commitment life coaching group, llc
Whatever the outcome, you will be setting the stage for something very valuable — feedback on how you speak to each other. And, not unimportantly, if you actively change your habits so that you are validating your partner's ideas, you will find him or her feeling more heard and less defensive.
Advertising As an adult, we tend to wind up in one of three primary attachment types based on our childhood experiences.
When your partner shares feelings with you, value what he or she shared, without offering solutions or unsolicited advice. Encourage them to let go and relax Most of the time we know what helps our partners to simply let go and relax.
Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner’s Feelings
It involves a dynamic dance between doing and being, giving and receiving, setting boundaries and being flexible. Imagine your partner comes home and tells you they are furious because they found out they need to work over the holiday weekend.
Learn more about their work at couplesaftertrauma. Our materially oriented, results driven society has conditioned many of us to act as if the outcome or result is more important than the person or people involved.
To attune to your partner requires the ability to experience their feelings on such a level that that you almost become your partner. Empathizing shows that you understand why they have those feelings and needs.
You might say, "I can see you're upset about this," or "You seem discouraged" in response to their news about having to work over the weekend. It takes a very strong and resilient relationship to be able to swim out to the deep end and experience what your partner really thinks of you without getting defensive.
Observe Self and Impact on Other If your intent is good but your partner is clearly upset or looks embarrassed — allow yourself a second or third take: He also discovered that Mary felt loved by him when he understood and valued her feelings.
What can I do to learn more about it, even if I disagree? A recent forum post is a good example. Nothing could be further from the truth.
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